All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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