I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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