Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
