I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
