we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
