Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
