The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Mom said you looked used
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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