if i died would you start the facebook group?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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