i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
