every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
