I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
operation have a gay friend backfired
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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