Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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