his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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