now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
