BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
