is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
