is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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