So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
