just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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