I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
