dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
