Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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