I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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