its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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