It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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