Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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