Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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