Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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