we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
They have beer where we have blood.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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