i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
