did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
