And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
