my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
