You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
