I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have feelings that need drinking.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
