we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I need water and some morals
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
