dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
where are my eyebrows?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
