I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
