I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
