She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
