first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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