so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
