Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
