and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
