There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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