so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
