the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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