if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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