I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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