So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
