we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
