You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
