Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
