This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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