I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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