Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
