I wannas sexs uuuuu
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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