I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
