I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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